the body, the shame

 

hi.

how are you?

I’m ashamed to come back home

and look you in the eye.

I miss you.

I want to be so much larger than this body.

the field is bubbling with mole hills and

something new awaits under every single one ;

today I can squeeze the dirt between my fingers and take my sweet time.

you tell me to have patience -

you don’t show me how.

it’s hard because I’m grieving.

you ask “where is the bird-boned girl?” (and she is nowhere).

I say “my beauty’s gone - am I still worthy of love?” (and make myself

so

small.)